4. The Dream

Lyrics and Music: :© Tom Baxter

Vocal: Mike Agranoff

1.
I had a dream the world had finally put an end to war.
And people of all nations came to stand beside the shore.
And hand in hand we waited for that peaceful day to dawn
When suddenly I realized I had no trousers on.

ch1
Oh, I've got no trousers on much to my surprise,
Show my knees to everyone, flash my burly thighs.*
Standing there, buttocks bare, breezes ruffling through my hair.
Pass me down some underwear. I've got no trousers on.

2.
I dreamed I was a springboard diver in the Olympic games.
And one more perfect score would surely bring my nation fame.
I stepped. I leapt. I struck a pose. Into the air I soared.
And coming down, I spied the empty Speed-o on the board.

ch1
Oh, I've got no trousers on much to my surprise,
Show my knees to everyone, flash my burly thighs.
Standing there, buttocks bare, breezes ruffling through my hair.
Pass me down some underwear. I've got no trousers on.

3.
A hungry wolf was following me, and from its frothing jaw
There hung a test in calculus I had not studied for.
I slipped into an open grave. Into the dark I fell,
Alone, forelorn, and hopeless, and with a chilly bum as well.**

ch1
Oh, I've got no trousers on much to my surprise,
Show my knees to everyone, flash my burly thighs.
Standing there, buttocks bare, breezes ruffling through my hair.
Pass me down some underwear. I've got no trousers on.

4.
I dreamed I learned a song, and then I tried to sing for you.
I opened up my eyes and found the nightmare had come true.
But I will not be flustered by this turn of circumstance.
I close my eyes again, and you're not wearing any pants.

ch2.
Oh, you've got no trousers on much to your surprise,
Show your knees to everyone, flash your burly thighs.
Standing there, buttocks bare, breezes ruffling through your hair.
Oh, go put on some underwear. You've got no trousers on.

ch3.
Oh, we've got no trousers on much to our surprise,
Show our knees to everyone, flash our burly thighs.
Standing there, buttocks bare, breezes ruffling through our hair.
Who opened up the Frigidaire?
I'm freezing off my derrierre.
Oh, pass me down some underwear. I've got no trousers on.

* Tom's original wording for this line was as follows:
"Knobby knees smiling at everyone, flashing my burly thighs. "
I simplified it to make it a little more rhythmic and less wordy to allow the audience to pick up the words and sing more easily.

**Tom's original lyrics here were:
" Alone, forelorn, and hopeless, with a naked butt as well."